Siouxsie Loves Halloween, but Hates the Specter of Liability

Photo Credit--Rich Garella

Photo Credit--Rich Garella

At present, Siouxsie is skulking around her neighborhood, trespassing on people’s property and tacking the following waiver** to neighbors’ doors:

HALLOWEEN WAIVER AND RELEASE**

____________________________(hereinafter referred to as “Trick-or-Treater”) agrees not to sue, harass, trick or damn Siouxsie Law for providing a spine-chilling and creepy Halloween experience.

This document is provided to duly warn Trick-or-Treater that unforeseeable and foreseeable risks lurk in the shadows at the residence of Siouxsie Law.  Trick-or-Treater is aware that trick-or-treating at said residence is a potentially hazardous activity and that Trick-or-Treater should not enter the grounds unless Trick-or-Treater is physically able to do so.  Trick-or-Treater understands that the risks and dangers inherent with this trick-or-treating activity include, but are not limited to, risk of personal injury or damages to clothing and possessions from walking onto, snooping around, and/or running away from the grounds.  The said risks include, but are not limited to, risks from semi-darkness, complete-and-utter darkness, flashing lights, strobe lights; dense fog, fire, lightning, strong gusts of wind; barbed wire and trap doors; low frequency sounds, rumbles, groans, slams, and thunder.

Trick-or-Treater hereby proclaims to be a voluntary participant and in good physical condition.  Trick-or-Treater hereby assumes full and complete responsibility for any injury, accident, or mauling which may occur during Trick-or-Treater’s participation.  Trick-or-Treater assumes all risks associated with participation in said spine-chilling and creepy Halloween experience including, but not limited to, falls, contact with other trick-or-treaters, contact with demons, goblins and/or ghouls; lightning strikes; loss of hearing; blindness; and damage to one’s soul.  Having read this waiver and release from liability form and knowing these facts, Trick-or-Treater waives and releases Siouxsie Law, her benefactors, representatives, minions and successors from all claims or liability of any kind arising from daring to trick-or-treat at her residence.

IN SIGNING THIS HALLOWEEN WAIVER AND RELEASE, TRICK-OR-TREATER ACKNOWLEDGES AND REPRESENTS THAT Trick-or-Treater has read the foregoing,  understands it and signed it voluntarily as Trick-or-Treater’s own free act and deed without duress either natural or supernatural; no oral representations, statements, or inducements, apart from the foregoing written agreement, have been made; Trick-or Treater is at least eighteen (18) years of age and fully competent; and executes this Halloween Waiver and Release for full, adequate and complete consideration fully intending to be bound by same.

Signed on this  day of 31st day of October, 2009.

____________________________________
Trick-or-Treater

____________________________________
Printed Name  Signature

**DISCLAIMER:   THE ABOVE IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE!!!

Unfortunately, there are many simple-minded dolts and dimwits who troll the interweb and may think that this constitutes legal advice somehow.  It does not.  For one, each situation is complex and unique and requires individualized assessment.  Second, one should never use and/or rely on a purported legal form that uses terms such as demons, goblins and ghouls, or makes reference to damage to one’s soul.  It saddens Siouxsie that she must point this out.  But so be it.

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~ by siouxsielaw on October 19, 2009.

One Response to “Siouxsie Loves Halloween, but Hates the Specter of Liability”

  1. Siouxsie,

    Please do the following:

    Print out your waiver.
    Attach a sheet of paper that identifies the author as a “beltway” lawyer and provide a link to your site.
    Fax to Fox News.
    Hide under the covers.

    *Please note that the above does not actually constitute real PR advice. And as someone who lived under the scrutiny of the right-wing media for a short period of time, I can tell you: it’s not fun. But it *might* be fun if it’s for a goth legal blog. Just saying.

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